


i don't know how to be something you miss

by radiowrittenheart



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Alternate Universe - 1970s, Backstory, Confessions, F/M, Flashback fic, Grunkle4Grandpa, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Relationships, Oneshot, Phone Calls & Telephones, Sad, Secrets, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-17
Updated: 2015-12-17
Packaged: 2018-05-07 04:12:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5442878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/radiowrittenheart/pseuds/radiowrittenheart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She was a long way from Glass Shard Beach, New Jersey, but not that far away from her future - and even in the dead cold of a Philadelphia winter … she wished she had that flower he had given her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i don't know how to be something you miss

**Author's Note:**

> I JUST REALLY WANTED TO WRITE SOME STARLA OKAY 
> 
> i got this idea http://saveshootingstar.tumblr.com/post/135299179766/im-kind-of-tempted-to-write-a-fic-where-a
> 
> and i ran with it. here goes nothing.

Carla didn’t realize what number she was dialing. She was desperate, and she found a payphone booth outside of a 24/7 Wawa convience store. To a homeless and hopeless pregnant young girl on a cold December night, that was all she needed. Well, that, and some spare change to call someone, but she had all she could have ever wanted now.

She didn’t have a number in mind at first, she was just punching in random numbers and shooting dimes into the side of the payphone.

“C’mon, c’mon,” she mumbled. “Pick up, _please_.”

The dial tone seemed to go on forever and ever - **_brring, brring_** , now seeming almost monotonous. She was hoping someone, anyone, would answer the phone.

Finally, there was a voice; _“Forest of Pines phone psychic, you got questions, I got answers.”_

Ideally, this wasn’t who Carla wanted to hear, but at least it was one of the Pines.

_“So, who am I talkin’ to?”_

“Uh,” Carla stopped herself. She wouldn’t say her name, she couldn’t. Mrs. Pines would drive through the snow and ice, maybe even walk, and take Carla back to Glass Shard Beach so the family could look after her. “Can I stay anonymous?”

There was the snap of gum. _“I’m gonna hafta charge your cost to $2.99 an hour.”_

Carla sighed, watching her breath fog up in the harsh weather. “Okay,” she mumbled. “So … I need advice.”

_“Naw, really? I assumed you was just callin’ to say hi.”_

A rueful laugh escaped Carla. Oh, how she missed that dry sense of humor. “I kind of have an issue going on,” she explained. “I’m a long way from home, I dumped my boyfriend a-and just afterwards, I found out I’m having his baby.” Tears froze in the corners of her eyes and she shivered. “I - I don’t know where he’s at. He probably fled the state after I left him.”

She could see it now; Ma Pines probably on her sixth cup of coffee, going through three different phones at once, and an unopened pack of cigarettes by her side. Carla remembered the days she’d come over with Stanley, watching his mother work while he playfully bickered with his brother.

Those were good days. Much better than now, when she was almost panhandling because she was a fool.

She should have never left him.

_“Oh, I see how it is, sweetcheeks. You’re chasin’ after him ‘cause ya want him to help ya pay for the baby, don’tcha? Need some quick cash before the little hellspawn pops up, huh?”_

“No,” Carla choked out. “N-not really. I just want him back, I need him again.”

_“What - ya love him or somethin’?”_

“Yes.”

Her own voice seemed so unlike her, so child-like. Carla cleared her throat, about to continue before the ‘psychic’ spoke up. Ma Pines wasn’t exactly legitimate, but at least she had close predictions.

She coughed - okay, maybe that pack of cigarettes wasn’t unopened after all. _“Listen, how old are you?”_

“Nineteen,” Carla admitted shamefully. “Just turned.”

_“Of course you are. I was thinking you were ‘round that age. Most girls your age are makin’ these kinda mistakes these days. It’s the 70’s and you all think youse can do whatever ya want; take your drugs, have all the hookups ya want, and not pay the price. But that’s how it rolls in life. Luckily, I think I’m seein’ the stars line up okay for ya.”_

Carla paused, leaning up against the cold glass wall of the booth. “Really?” she said softly, choking back the urge to start bawling.

She felt lost, even if she was familiar with this area.

_“You… you’re in Philly, ain’t you?”_

Ma Pines must have traced the call. How that family got around the law so easily was beyond Carla.

_“Somethin’ tells me that’s quite a ways away from your roots. You should stay there, though, it’ll be good for ya. Tell ya what, have that kid. Don’t you go gettin’ rid of it. Not only is it wrong, but you’re gonna regret it. Have the baby, give it up if ya hafta, but go through it.”_

“Okay,” Carla murmured. “I - I wasn’t thinking about getting rid of it, anyway.”

_“Good for you. Now, I’m getting really blurry visions about the baby’s father. Can ya tell me some stuff ‘bout him?”_

Carla froze, and not just because of the weather. She couldn’t say anything, for fear that she’d give it all away. She’d say the wrong thing, and then it would all come crashing down - kind of like the icicles dropping off of the side of the payphone booth every five minutes.

“Um,” Carla stammered and stuttered. “He’s a great man. Not the best, but still great. I miss him, I miss him so much.” She hesitated, placing a hand over her slightly bulging stomach. “I want the baby to look like him with his brown eyes and his perfect smile.”

Really, she couldn’t blame anyone for laughing.

Ma Pines couldn’t hold back a chuckle; _“Oh, please, you’re gettin’ all sentimental over a guy that ain’t even there. You need to know how to move on.”_

Carla began crying a little at this point. “I still love him, though,” she choked out. “I gave up everything for him, and now he’s gone because I was stupid enough to leave him. He had nothing, but he gave me all he could. I didn’t give anything back to him.”

_“You gave him your love, didn’t ya?”_

“Well, I guess,” she mumbled.

_“Then ya gave him somethin’ - and lemme guess, ya left him ‘cause he was movin’ too fast for ya?”_

She knew. She had to know. Carla had probably already said too much.

There was a snort of a laugh; _“Well, lemme tell ya this much, sweetie, you’re not gettin’ a Christmas miracle. He’s not comin’ back anytime soon if you’re the one who left him. Seems to me like he’s the type who thinks ‘Who needs ya?’, y’know?”_

Yes. Stanley was that type. He had probably already tried to move on, but found it impossible.

Just as she had done.

“Probably,” Carla sighed. “So what am I supposed to do?”

_“Ya got a place to stay?”_

Technically, Thistle Downe’s couch wasn’t a place. He wanted her out of the house at certain hours, and in the end, he didn’t even like her and claimed to “not be attracted to anyone, man” so Carla knew she was done for. She had no support.

A “no” just barely slipped past her lips before she piped up; “But I’m gonna get a job a-and then-”

_“No, no, no, what you do is youse gonna call my cousin, Tiny. She’ll set you up- you got a pen and paper?”_

Carla stammered, and nodded. She rummaged through her purse, pulling out a no longer sticky notepad and a pen from some random bank or doctor or whatever.

_“Okay, hon, you take the Septa down to Allentown, alright? Go to a diner, get yourself some coffee, and ask around for an Antonina Katsaros, ‘cause I dunno where she’s at right now, she probably had to move again ‘cause of her dozen kids. Anyway, she can give ya a room and some food before you get back on your feet and you get that kid outta you. Tell her Ginny sent ya.”_

“Thank you,” Carla said, stuffing the note into her pocket after writing down the location and name. “Um, how much do I owe you, miss?” She wasn’t even sure she’d have enough money for the transit after this.

There was a pause on the other side of the line.

A pause that nearly killed Carla, until she heard; _“It’s on the house.”_ Another second of silence. _“Is there anything else you need, hon?”_

It was those words that almost caused Carla to start crying on the spot. She heard that voice with that statement so many times, but hearing it now almost caused her heart to break. She managed to swallow down her tears, before managing to reply.

Her voice seemed distant, even to herself. “Okay,” she murmured. “I… I appreciate it, ma’am.”

_“You take care of yourself, babydoll. And make sure that kid of yours is doin’ okay.”_

“Right,” Carla mumbled. “Just, one last question-” She twirled the payphone cord around her fingers and slid in another dime. “-am I ever going to see him again?”

_“I wish I could say I knew. But one thing’s for sure, he’s gonna work his own little version of magic, don’t you worry.”_

_**Click.** _

The ‘psychic’ hung up.

But she was right. She was so very right. Carla knew Stanley well enough; if he didn’t show up when their baby was born, he’d come around one way or another. Maybe not even right away, but he had a sense of magic to him, despite all of his faults and flaws. Perhaps she would never see him again, and their child would never know who their father was, but Stanley would come through. He always did.

As Carla gently placed the phone back in the receiver, she took slow steps across the snow-covered sidewalk towards the bus stop.

She was a long way from Glass Shard Beach, New Jersey, but not that far away from her future.

And even in the dead cold of a Philadelphia winter … she wished she had that flower he had given her.

 

_**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~** _

 

Ginny slammed the phone down before the girl could even say goodbye. She knew it. She fuckin’ knew it; that was Carla. Good ‘ole precious Carla Sue McCorkle. The girl who had run away with her Stanley, and he wasn’t even there for her.

This wasn’t how she planned to find out she was going to be a grandmother.

She couldn’t see no damn future, but she always thought she’d see Stanley and Carla come home, get married, then maybe settle down.

Not this. They didn’t deserve this- and he didn’t even know.

She lit another cigarette, propping open the nearby window. The smoke disappeared into the cold winter night…

...just like her son.

She had a feeling that she’d never see him again, and neither would poor Carla.

 

_**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~** _

 

Three months later, Carla went into early labor in the basement of a stranger’s home. A few hours of worry, pain and the strangers screaming Greek all led up to a baby boy being placed in her arms. He looked so much like Stanley, she burst into tears upon holding him.

She named him Lincoln.

Lincoln Carlton Pines.

She never lives to see her son finally connect with his father, or to meet Lincoln’s children; nor to see how amazing they’d be and how much her granddaughter looks like her.

But Stanley does…

...and that’s when he realizes one day, he has to tell them the truth.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I've asked Alex Hirsch on twitter what Ma Pines's name is but he never answered, so I just went with Ginny because she looks like a Ginny (and I randomly guessed on the name of Mabel and Dipper's dad). Also, yes, I think she's Greek. Ma Pines is important to me because she's precious.
> 
> I blame tumblr for making me ship Starla.
> 
> That is all.
> 
> Comments are appreciated!


End file.
